Change

I've decided it's time for change. Lately I've been  lazy, bored, down and depressed, and I need to turn things around, I can't go on like this. After a good long cry and giant cuddle with my soul mate and best friend, he suggested that I make a list of things to accomplish everyday. I already started a "take a picture of the day" project, but I needed more, something to keep my mind occupied and keep myself from slipping dow the slope of worthlessness. He suggested I write something everyday, a story, a poem, a journal anything, hopefully this will help translate my thoughts into something concrete. As our brains got going on things to do, I thought, hey, why not learn Japanese! haha I know Japanese is probably one of the most difficult languages to learn, but I currently have way too much free time on my hands. To start off, I'm going to learn how to say, write and read one japanese word every day. Doesn't sound like much, but after a year, I will have known 365 Japanese words, not too shabby eh? I'm still trying to come up with other ideas to fill my day. I was thinking maybe to start out my daily routine with some yoga, or start learning the piano. I'm sure my list will grow as these tasks become easier and maybe even borring to accomplish, but I really need something to look forward to do everyday, I've lost so much motivation for nearly everything I've once loved, including dance and photography, which used to be such a big part of my life something that was apart of me. The pressures of dance really have driven me away from it, having to look perfect to move a certain way, it's really draining, no matter how absolutely rewarding performing on stage in front of everyone has become, I'm doubting whether or not my self esteem is worth all the damage before hand... I don't know. Maybe I will regain my drive and desire for it, but right now I'm just not sure if I can handle it. wow this blog didn't quite turn out how I expected, but that's life. You live, you learn.
XOXO
Courtney


P.s. Japanese word of the day:
thank you

a ri ga to u